Radio host Delilah says faith ‘saved my sanity’ after she lost two sons: ‘I did the best that I could’
Radio host Delilah says faith ‘saved my sanity’ after she lost two sons. The star also gets candid in her new book, titled ‘One Heart at a Time.’
Delilah has endured the greatest pain any mother can endure — the death of her two boys.
The radio star, who appeared on “The Dr. Oz Show” Friday, recalled how angry she felt after her 18-year-old son Zack took his life in 2017. Her 16-year-old son Sammy previously passed away in 2012 from complications caused by sickle cell anemia.
Delilah has three biological children and 11 others welcomed through adoption.
“I went into a rage when I started doing the research on the medicine [my son] was given,” said the 59-year-old, as reported by People magazine. The outlet noted it’s unknown which medicine Zack was taking at the time of his death.
Delilah's son Zack. (Courtesy of Delilah)
But then, “a couple of things happened” to Delilah.
“There’s a man named Rory Fleek, who is a country songwriter who lost his wife to cancer,” said Delilah. “He called me, and he said, ‘Delilah, your boys are much more a part of your future than they are of your past.’”
“We share the same faith and I just, I was in this rage, and I said, ‘How can you say that? I don’t get to go to their weddings, I don’t get to see their babies, I don’t get to be a grandma, I don’t get to see them graduate, both of them,’” she continued. “And he said, ‘Because you know where they are, and you know you’ll be with them in the future.’”
Delilah also described the final tragic moments leading up to Zack’s death.
Delilah and Sammy. (Courtesy of Delilah)
“[Zack gave me permission] to call his doctor and I did call — I called twice — and I said, ‘My son’s talking about weird space travel and weird time loops continuums,’” said Delilah. “His doctor never returned my call. He spent Saturday and Sunday at his dad’s house. They had his favorite food. They watched ‘Star Wars.’
“Then, Monday night, he came home from his dad’s house. He spent a few hours in the barn with our cats — we had four kittens — [then] came in and ate dinner with our family. [He] went up to his room and played video games, and then at 10:30, he came down. I was in Africa and he said to my husband, ‘I’m going to go for a walk.’”
Delilah also told Dr. Oz that after Zack’s death, her niece found a nine-page letter tucked under the pillow of his bed.
“It was all about time travel,” she said. “He said he had to fix something that was wrong, and that he would wake up the next day in his own bed, and he would probably have to do this a number of times before he got it right.”
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Delilah details her life story in "One Heart at a Time." (Courtesy of Delilah)
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Delilah can still vividly describe one of her favorite memories of Zack.
“Early in the morning, at 4 or 5 o’clock, he would come into my room and lay down on the covers next to me and just be my baby again,” she said. “The day before I went to Africa, he did that. That was the last time I held my son.”
Back in September, Delilah told Fox News faith saved her sanity as she endured unimaginable heartbreak.
“I came to my faith in my 20s and it is my faith that has kept me going through losing two boys, two of my sons, Sammy and Zack,” said Delilah at the time. “There is a verse that says, ‘Every one of our days is numbered before a single one comes to pass.’ That one verse has saved my sanity because all of my sons' days were numbered. God knew when they were going to leave this earth before they came to this earth and knowing that changes everything. Because if I didn't believe that, then I would do the what-ifs. What if I had done this differently? What if I had done that differently?”
Delilah's family continues to grow. (Courtesy of Delilah)
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“I would drive myself insane with the what-ifs,” she continued “But the reality is I did the best that I could with the information I had. All of our days are numbered. God already knows when he's going to call me home. So while I have today, while he's given me this 24 hours, I can spend it mourning and depressed over what I've lost or I can spend it rejoicing in children who still need me, who still need their mom to be fully present. So, I choose life. I choose joy. I choose to invest my energies into those people that God has in my life today.”
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