Holly Madison details ‘traumatic’ first night sleeping with Hugh Hefner: He ‘was pushed on top of me’

Holly Madison is getting candid about what it was really like being one of Hugh Hefner’s many girlfriends.

The former Playboy Bunny recently appeared on the "Power: Hugh Hefner" podcast where she recalled being invited to spend a night out with the magazine publisher. According to the 41-year-old, she was hoping to be invited to live in the Playboy Mansion because one of Hefner’s girlfriends had recently left.

"I didn’t really know what went on with them sexually," she claimed. "I knew there must be something and I was prepared for that. I wasn’t prepared for what would eventually happen."

Madison claimed that after spending some time in a club that night, she went back to the mansion with Hefner, along with some other women they were with.

HOLLY MADISON SAYS SHE WAS IN A 'CYCLE OF GROSS THINGS' WHILE LIVING AT PLAYBOY MANSION

"I wasn’t necessarily expecting to have sex that night," she said. "I thought it would be more of a first date – even though obviously it’s not a very traditional first date. I thought it would be more the type of thing where I saw what happened, saw what was going on. If I wasn’t comfortable with it, I wouldn’t have to do anything and I could make my decision on whether I wanted to come back for date no. 2 or not."

The "Girls Next Door" alum told the outlet that the night didn’t go as she imagined. Instead, Madison claim she and Hefner did have sex.

"I definitely was not expecting to be the first one to go that night, but I was wasted," said Madison. "He was literally pushed on top of me. And after it happened, I was just mortified and embarrassed and it had way more of an emotional impact on me than I thought it would."

Madison said she was "horrified" by the idea that the others knew what happened between them.

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"I thought he was really smart, I really looked up to him, so I liked him and it wasn’t that the idea of possibly having sex with him repelled me so much – I know that’s not relatable to a lot of people because they’re like, ‘Oh, he’s an old man, gross.’"

"It was more the group aspect that was really out of my comfort zone and just the feeling of, ‘Wow, OK, that happened. Everybody knows it happened,’" she continued. "I kind of all of a sudden felt like everybody was going to know about me, and I was horrified by it."

Madison also noted that she felt like she had to stay after that "traumatic experience." The next morning, Madison asked Hefner if she could move into the mansion and he agreed.

"I felt like, ‘There’s no taking that back so I might as well get what I came for," she said. "I felt like by moving myself in and getting what I wanted from the situation, that was demanding respect in a way. I felt like if I didn’t do that I was just going to be haunted by the experience."

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Hefner passed away in 2017 at age 91.

Back in 2016, Madison wrote a memoir titled "Down the Rabbit Hole" where she detailed what it was like living in Hefner’s home, as well as the alleged years of verbal and emotional abuse she endured. At the time, Madison told Fox News there were "many moments" when she realized the mansion wasn’t for her.

"… Throughout the seven years I was with Hef I always tried to be the best girlfriend I could, and only focused on his positive features," she said. "I blamed any unhappiness or problems I had on the other girls. When the other girls were no longer a part of the picture, I couldn’t make excuses anymore."