'Tradwife' TikToker defends NFL star over homemaker, motherhood comments
A young homemaker and social media influencer defended Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker after he delivered a polarizing commencement speech at a Catholic college.
A popular Arizona online influencer believes stay-at-home mothers are often derided in today's social-media-fixated, me-first culture. So when NFL kicker Harrison Butker's viral commencement address praising homemaking as one of the most important vocations for women caused an uproar, she wasn't surprised.
"I think a lot of people have just been trained, and I was kind of like this too, even growing up, hearing about how important it is for women to have degrees and to have jobs and go compete with men," 28-year-old Ivy Van Dusen and "trad wife" told Fox News Digital. "So I think people subconsciously when they hear the word homemaker, or when they hear someone, especially a man, talk about women being mothers, flags go up, and they automatically are upset by it."
Van Dusen makes videos on social media sharing about her life as a homemaker and stay-at-home mom of two children. On her TikTok account, @ivyoutwest, the young mother shares with her 100,000+ followers why she finds her traditional lifestyle more fulfilling than pursuing a career in the corporate world.
"I genuinely think that they think that we're just dumb, and we don't understand that it's oppressive to be at home and to depend on a man financially and that we should be doing so much more," she said. "I think that's just a misconception, because a lot of stay-at-home moms I know are educated, have had careers … We do it consciously, knowing that it's a lifestyle that's worth it for us."
CLICK HERE TO READ HARRISON BUTKER’S FULL SPEECH
Ivy Van Dusen, a young stay-at-home mom who discusses her traditional lifestyle on TikTok, defended Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker for his comments about mothers in his viral commencement speech.
Butker's May 11 address at Benedictine College, a small Catholic college in Kansas, has generated considerable debate, support and backlash around the country. Media coverage, which has been largely negative, has focused particularly on his remarks addressed to women graduating that day and how they'd been told "diabolical lies."
"Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world. I can tell you that my beautiful wife Isabelle would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother," he said.
"I’m on this stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I’m beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me. But it cannot be overstated, that all of my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife and embrace one of the most important titles of all: homemaker."
Everything from Butker's observance of the Traditional Latin Mass – one "View" co-host called it "cult-like" – to his position – a Washington Post sports columnist suggested mocking him for being the Kansas City Chiefs placekicker – has come under fire from the left.
A CNN reporter even asked Biden press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre if Butker would be welcome at the White House when the Chiefs came later this year to celebrate their Super Bowl title; she replied the whole team was invited.
The NFL officially distanced itself from him, saying Butker's remarks clashed with the league's on "inclusion." Even usually chipper NBC host Hoda Kotb said the speech put her in a bad mood last week on "Today with Hoda & Jenna."
FILE - Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker speaks to the media during NFL football Super Bowl 58 opening night Monday, Feb. 5, 2024, in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel, File)
"Don’t speak for us," Kotb said. "Stop speaking for women out there."
But many other women, with college degrees, are backing Butker's remarks.
Van Dusen, who was raised in a Mormon family, said she felt pressured by society to pursue a degree, and go compete with men" in the workforce. While attending Brigham Young University, she met her husband and got married at 19. The couple welcomed their first child just after Van Dusen graduated with her degree in broadcast journalism.
While she loved journalism and wanted to pursue a career in it, she felt it was more important for her to stay home with her son, especially while he was young.
"My husband was really supportive in that," she told Fox News Digital.
But it hasn’t always been easy.
"We have had to be extremely frugal, especially those first years … but it's been good," she said.
Besides making videos on social media about her family and lifestyle, she is passionate about helping to support other mothers through her blog and her volunteer work with Postpartum Support International. She also competes in beauty pageants and was the 2023 winner of the Mrs. Arizona America pageant for married women, which is the official state preliminary for the Mrs. America Pageant.
Happy about her decision to be a homemaker, Van Dusen works to support other moms regardless of their educational background.
"It’s socially acceptable to support women and cheer for them when it comes to work and when it comes to careers," she told Fox News Digital. "But it's not really socially acceptable to support them at home. And I think people are just kind of trying to see that as oppressive and degrading, which I just couldn't disagree more with."
When she first heard about Butker's speech in the media, she thought it had amounted to a jock athlete telling women to "go back to the kitchen."
"I actually thought it was awesome," she said of his speech. "I was just seeing negativity about it. It was hard to find the actual speech itself because I would just see clips of it and people reacting to it and news organizations covering it."
The address on Benedictine's YouTube page has garnered more than 1.6 million views as of Sunday. The portion that has caused the most controversy regarding women and motherhood was "actually the part that I love the most," she said.
"I know that's controversial to say, but for me, it was something that I wish I had heard more of when I was, you know, eight months pregnant, graduating [from college]," she said.
Butker did not simply address women with his remarks about the importance of parenting and family. He also said he had embraced his own vocation to be a husband and father and encouraged men to be "unapologetic in your masculinity."
Nov 20, 2023; Kansas City, Missouri, USA; Kansas City Chiefs place kicker Harrison Butker (7) celebrates after kicking the point after touchdown against the Philadelphia Eagles during the game at GEHA Field at Arrowhead Stadium. (Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports)
Butker also criticized Pride month, which celebrates LGBT pride, and instead encouraged listeners to exhibit "God-centered pride that is cooperating with the Holy Ghost to glorify Him." In addition, he criticized President Biden, who is Roman Catholic, for being pro-abortion, calling such identities incompatible.
While Butker has thrust himself into the zeitgeist with his speech, the Georgia native has made a name for himself on the field since joining the league in 2017. Picked in the seventh and final round of the NFL draft by the Carolina Panthers, he was later signed by the Chiefs and has been the starting kicker for three Super Bowl championship teams.
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He kicked the game-winning field goal against the Philadelphia Eagles in Super Bowl LVII in 2023, and his career field goal percentage of 89.1 percent (minimum 100 attempts) is second-best in NFL history.