Greg Gutfeld on the White House Correspondents' Dinner
Michelle Wolf causes uproar with controversial jokes at the White House Correspondents' Dinner.
This is a rush transcript from "The Five," April 30, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Hi, I'm Greg Gutfeld with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and she wind surf with a post-it note, Dana Perino -- "The Five."
Hooray. Saturday was the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Here's a clip:
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: It's a trash fire.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: We could stop there. Now, everything went as planned. The comedian, an undiluted leftist plucked from "The Daily Show" assembly line of press approved progs unloaded on the White House. But like a tortoise on crutches, you could see the jokes limping toward you.
The dinner is now just old news, an orgy of self-congratulations, selfies, and predictable barbs masked as edgy, like the Sarah Sanders stuff:
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MICHELLE WOLF, COMEDIAN: I have to say, I'm a little star struck. I love you as Aunt Lydia in "The Handmaid's Tale."
I actually really like Sarah. I think she's very resourceful. Like she burns facts and then she uses that ash to create a perfect smoky eye. Like, maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's lies. Probably lies.
And I'm never really sure what to call Sarah Huckabee Sanders, you know. Is it Sarah Sanders? Is it Sarah Huckabee Sanders? Like, what's Uncle Tom, but for white women who disappoint other white women?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Now, Wolf reminds us that you can smear women as long as you on the right side politically. The media calls that a roast. If you did it, it would be called misogyny. But progs play by different rules. Take Joy Reid, whatever she wrote will be excused by people who would crucify you for much, much less. Being on the left excuses everything, you can drive girls into the drink or run the Klan and still sit in the senate as long as you're a Democrat.
Now, the comic's defenders will say, but Trump said bad things about women too. You're right. He said bad things about everyone. But if he wasn't president and Marco Rubio was, do you think Michelle would be any nicer to Rubio? He's pro-life. She's this:
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
WOLF: Mike Pence is also very anti-choice. He thinks abortion is murder, which, first of all, don't knock it until you try it. And when you do try it really knock it. You know, you've got to get that baby out of there.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Maybe that's what Brian Stelter considers brave material. Take that unborn baby.
So, yeah, Trump had said bad things, but he crushed ISIS and might just solve a 60-year-old problem called North Korea. I'll take the trade-off even if I must listen to really bad jokes once a year. So should you.
Kimberly, I go to you because I believe you feel strongly about this topic. Am I correct?
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Yes, because you are monitoring me all weekend and this week.
GUTFELD: Yes.
GUILFOYLE: You're correct.
GUTFELD: Yes, I was outside your house.
GUILFOYLE: OK.
(LAUGHTER)
GUILFOYLE: All right. So, I have to tell you, I felt that this was so mean-spirited that it wasn't anything that was like comedic about. There was nothing to be gained for her saying these types of things that were directly targeted at Sarah Sanders. I think the majority of what she had to say went against her. This isn't advancing women. This isn't even advancing the first amendment. This is just proffering cruelty. And I think if you were sitting in a chair like that to listen to that, and everybody, basically, some people, I guess, laughed, etcetera. But to allow her to even to continue to go on in this way, I thought it was absolutely terrible. I admit, we were all invited, we didn't go. Well, you went. I think you're the only one of the five of us, right? OK. And -- so, Juan will say with his, you know, personal experience was being there and actually listening in the room. Sometimes it's a little different.
But at home, and I re-watched it so many times and I felt so sad for her. It's just one of those things that Sarah conducted herself, you know, beautifully and really handled herself well. To sit there and listen to these things, so mean-spirited, bullying, that's what it is. I wouldn't like it if she said that about, you know, a man, a woman, a child. But to do that, what did Sarah Sanders ever do to hurt to deserve those kinds of personal attacks on that level of vitriol? I mean, she should feel horrible about herself when she goes to bed and she wakes up in the morning, Michelle Wolf, because none of that was funny whatsoever.
GUTFELD: OK. Dana, they would probably respond that, A, Sarah -- because Trump wasn't there, Sarah.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Becomes the target. GUTFELD: She becomes the target. She's the proxy. And number two, Trump has said things about, you know, people's faces twice, so it's like.
PERINO: And some people laughed, right?
GUTFELD: Yeah, yeah.
PERINO: Across the board, I don't think it's good or funny. The interesting thing about this is that -- just two months ago or three months ago, the president went to the Gridiron Dinner, and he -- it was one first of these that he's attended. He brought the house down. He's very funny. His speech was great. Nancy Pelosi was one of the speakers. I think that was her that night, and then Tom Cotton. Usually, if you have an elected leader who has -- it's not easy to give a speech like that. They have to practice, and it costs actually a lot because you usually farm it out to some great speechwriter.
GUTFELD: Yeah.
PERINO: And I don't think Washington, D.C. needs to bring in anyone from the outside to do these types of things. The Gridiron Dinner has never done it. It's always fantastic. The line that they have is, the Gridiron singes, but it never burns. I do hope that's the last of the sound bites that I have to hear because her voice is really -- it gets to me. Craig Ferguson was one of the only comedians there that I thought was so gentle because he basically just made fun of himself the entire time, and he complemented me, so that was like -- I remember that. The other thing is when she talks about the abortion joke.
GUTFELD: Yeah.
PERINO: You know, one thing you could say in response is that -- well, at least she called it a baby.
GUTFELD: Yeah, I think that was the biggest flaw.
PERINO: Oh, so now you think it's a baby.
GUTFELD: Yeah.
PERINO: Good, because we're going to take that to the congress.
GUTFELD: Yeah. I think that was a big flaw on her, and it undermined her joke. Also, to your point, you know, Obama gives great speeches. They didn't need a comedian.
PERINO: Usually, the elected leaders who give funny speeches are usually - - actually, not even elected leaders. Laura Bush, when she did it the one year at the White House correspondents' dinner, was hilarious when she called herself a Desperate Housewives. I mean, everybody got it. And you don't need to bring in somebody from the outside of D.C.
GUTFELD: Yeah. Jesse?
GUILFOYLE: I agree with you, Dana, it should be no more, unless president -- like when President Obama spoke, he was very funny, he was very entertaining. Guess what? People would actually go then. No one wants to sit there and listen to this nonsense.
GUTFELD: Yeah. Jesse, not a rousing success.
JESSE WATTERS, CO-HOST: No. Roseanne Barr said the first rule of comedy, you don't target someone in the audience who's more famous than you are. You'll lose the entire crowd. And this is what happens. You book a C-list comedian to make fun of the D.C. A-listers. Look who they've had the last couple of years, Cecily Strong, Larry Wilmore, Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Wolf, I've never even heard of any of these people.
GUTFELD: They're all Daily Show.
(CROSSTALK) WATTERS: These people are not famous comedians. Look who they've had during the stretch of Obama, Conan, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, Jay Leno. Look at the stretch under Bush, Colbert, Cedrick the Entertainer, Jay Leno, Drew Carol.
(CROSSTALK) PERINO: Well, they say that Colbert actually ended up with prime time late night show because -- partly because of that performance.
(CROSSTALK) WATTERS: In that case, I blame the White House correspondents' dinner association for him. But, let's be honest, the delivery was terrible, it was average material. The voice was not good. I'm glad you said it and I didn't have to say it first. But, the point is, is that I blame the White House correspondents' dinner association for this. They knew what they were getting into when they booked this person.
GUTFELD: Yeah, I agree.
WATTERS: But this is who the left is. They have been smearing and hurting conservatives and trafficking in this kind of hateful, unfunny stuff for the last year. But, on the show for an entire year, we've had montages this stuff from Chelsea Handler going after Melania, to -- I think the assassination jokes with Kathy Griffin and Johnny Depp. You've had Chris Matthew say horrible things. What they say on Morning Joe. The swear words on CNN. It's been despicable throughout the entire year. No one has ever condemned that. And here's the reasons why they condemned it this time. It was done in their room. It was done at their dinner by a comedian who they hired, and it was done to the person's face. All the other hateful stuff was on twitter. It was on someone else's show. They didn't have to take responsibility. The reason they had to condemn this comedian now was because it was a P.R. problem for them. They were only doing it for that reason and that reason alone.
GUTFELD: Juan, to that point, do you think that the White House correspondents association was cowardly for distancing themselves? I don't think they should have distance themselves. They made the decision to have her there. They should have supported her, I think.
JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: Yeah. And I think they must be reacting to some backlash that they've received. And I think the backlash, to my mind, is someone who was there and who was sitting there -- there was no one walking out, by the way, was that you had Sarah Huckabee Sanders sitting on the stage. I believe she was two people removed from the lectern and she's sitting there, and even the TV cameras then enlarged the perspective so you could see Sanders reacting to Ms. Wolf. And the problem was that it just felt unfair to her. I thought -- you know, I saw Sarah Huckabee Sanders later and I held her hands and said I think you have a great sense of humor because in the moment you worry that she was going to burst into tears or stand up and walk out and there would be a whole deal about that, and that's not what the White House correspondents association want to their event.
Where I disagree with you guys that she was hilarious, I think she was genius funny. I mean, you don't understand, she was picking on the press a lot. She was picking on Democrats. I mean, she said about the idea that Franken is gone. She said -- Ted Kennedy probably say, hey, I murdered a girl, that kind of thing.
GUTFELD: That was a good joke.
WILLIAMS: You know what? And I think -- when I sit here with all you guys, you talk about liberal intolerance for a variety of voices and speech. Well, gee, here's a variety -- here's a different perspective. And she went after and probably her most telling thing was, she said, you know, you guys in the press, you created this monster, and now you're all making -- your books, your podcasts, your TV shows making money and you -- but all you want to talk about is Trump and Russia. That was directly at the media.
GUTFELD: Yeah, that was good part.
WILLIAMS: And then, another good part was when she went after white women, and I've never heard anything like this. She said, hey, you think about what's going on, not only with Sarah Huckabee Sanders, but you think about Kellyanne Conway. You think about Ivanka. Everybody says, oh, women's issues are going to be at the forefront. She said you guys had disappointed white women, and she called them Uncle Toms.
GUTFELD: Right.
WILLIAMS: . in terms of white women. To me this was like -- everybody, let me tell you, where I was sitting, people were laughing.
WATTERS: Well, maybe you're at a different table because.
WILLIAMS: No.
WATTERS: . I watch the whole thing on C-Span, Juan. And she lost the crowd early and she bombed. And there's so much good material about the Trump White House from Acosta, to twitter, to the Russians, to Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. It's so easy to make a nice -- even clean joke. The majority of the stuff was very dirty. And I can handle dirty jokes. Everybody there can handle dirty jokes. I think it takes more talent to be clean. Almost everything was filthy.
GUTFELD: All right.
WATTERS: You can be mean, but the jokes have to land.
(CROSSTALK) GUILFOYLE: You know what that is, Jesse saying that he can do it, but he wants Greg to do it.
(CROSSTALK) GUTFELD: I think we have a tweet here. You know, Donald Trump had a suggestion how to make it better and it was, the so-called comedian really bombed. Greg Gutfeld should host next year. So, I'm saying yes to the challenge. I will host next year, but not there. We have to do a counter dinner, maybe do it for police widows, the money goes there. And then, Trump has to go to that instead of that. So, Trump, I will take you up on this offer and I'm going to do this. But it has to be a different event at the same time, different charities, and it will still be a roast, but it will be a gentle roast.
GUILFOYLE: Rally schedule?
GUTFELD: Yeah.
WILLIAMS: It's a tough thing. You know, I remember when Imus went after the Clinton's.
GUTFELD: Oh, yeah.
WILLIAMS: About extra marital affairs.
GUTFELD: Yeah.
WILLIAMS: . right with Mrs. Clinton.
GUTFELD: I know.
WILLIAMS: How about Larry Wilmore using the N-word in front of Obama.
GUTFELD: No, that -- See, I remember doing monos of all of these.
WILLIAMS: Yeah, you know.
GUTFELD: Maybe this will be the last one.
PERINO: They don't need a comedian there. They can just use themselves.
GUILFOYLE: The president would be far funnier to be quite honest. He's great at the rallies. He's great when gets up and spoke at the Gridiron thing like Dana said. And that wasn't like mean spirited.
GUTFELD: Yeah. And they can all be their own punch lines. That's the fun part. OK. Should President Trump win a Nobel Prize for getting Kim Jong- un to make peace? The president of South Korea thinks so, next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(PEOPLE CHEERING Nobel)
DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: That's very nice, thank you. That's very nice. Nobel.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: Chants of Nobel from a supportive crowd in Michigan. When President Obama left office he left President Trump with the world's biggest problem to solve, North Korea. This president didn't waste any time and took action. We've even witnessing remarkable results. Kim Jong- un is now signaling he wants to make peace, and lots of people are suggesting President Trump should win a Nobel Prize for that, including the leader of South Korea, Moon Jae-in. Lindsey Graham wants to see it happen, too.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. LINDSEY GRAHAM (R), SOUTH CAROLINA: He can lead us to ending the Korean War after 70 years, and getting North Korea to give up their nuclear program in a verifiable way. He deserves the Nobel Peace Prize, and then some. I want to be there. Maybe the first time the Nobel Peace Prize was given and there was mass casualties because I think a lot of liberals would kill themselves if they did that.
(END VIDEO CLIP) GUILFOYLE: All right. Senator Graham was also on Outnumbered today. Dana, so what do you make of this? The kind of programing, the Michigan rally, and then you have these comments now. Many people saying this is historic. This is something the president should receive the Nobel Prize, assuming all works out well.
PERINO: Well, yes. And there's a lot of assumptions there. So, I think, there's a long way to get from A to B. But, yes, of course. If the Middle East peace -- that's next.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: North Korea -- I mean, if it happens, and it could be years from now. We might not even know for many, many years -- posterity might have to decide if that actually works out. Then, yes, of course he should definitely be on the list for a Nobel Prize. But I think that wanting a Nobel Prize to rub it in the face of your political opponents it's probably not the best way to go into a negotiation, and I don't think that's what President Trump is doing. I don't think he has grandiose ideas about getting the Nobel Prize. And I think that -- and also, you know, needling the Nobel Prize committee and say, oh, you'll never give it to him, you'll never give to him, it becomes like another thing that is just -- we have an amazing opportunity right now, mostly due to his strategic instincts to get this to the place where we have this moment. But we all know there's a catch. Kim Jong-un is getting to come to the table now as an equal, because he now has nuclear weapons, so their idea of denuclearization and our idea is very different. And so, let's just see what happens. And President Trump is very cautious when he talks about this. He should sound a hopeful note and then says, but we'll see. I don't know. Maybe I'll walk away. I don't care. Let's just see. And so, I think he's got the right attitude of people trying to push in for a Nobel Prize before they even, you know, basically, pour the water is a little premature.
GUILFOYLE: Right. OK. So people criticized against President Obama, 12 days in.
GUTFELD: Right.
GUILFOYLE: . Nobel Peace Prize, or was it like, whoa, OK.
PERINO: Even Obama said OK.
(CROSSTALK) GUTFELD: It's just fun to see the South Korean president trolling CNN. He knows there's people are just going, shut up. But, no, there's two reasons why people are talking about the Nobel Prize, A, Obama, because he got one for sneezing. B, Trump, become it will drive people crazy. And it is amazing to think that a guy who hosted The Apprentice is going to win the Nobel Prize. But, I think, it should be shared. And the reason why is -- you don't want it to be decided -- this side and that side, it's about the spirit of cooperation. That might mean sharing it with Kim Jong-un, or Moon, or China. But for this potentially historic event to occur, you have to respect the necessity for cooperation. And it is like the blessing and the curse is -- he's coming to the table is the blessing. The curse is, now he's at the table. That's just the way it's going to be. It means you have to forget a lot of stuff, you know.
GUILFOYLE: All right, Jesse?
WATTERS: Well, the president was asked about the Nobel Peace Prize and he said peace is the price. And that was a pretty slick answer.
PERINO: Great line.
WATTERS: You've got to give him credit for that. If he does win, I think he should accept it during the military parade.
(LAUGHTER) GUTFELD: At my dinner gala.
WATTERS: Yes.
(LAUGHTER) GUILFOYLE: The Gutfeld gala.
WATTERS: Yes. So, it's just a stark difference between President Obama and President Trump. When you look at what happened in the years under President Obama, you have the crisis in Syria, where he didn't enforce the red line. Chemical weapons were used on people. There was a migration crisis, and half a million people have died. North Korea nuked up. And then, ISIS took over third of Iraq. President Trump has come in and defeated the ISIS caliphate, brought the two people to the table on the North Korean peninsula, and launched a few tomahawk missiles against the Assad regime, so pretty impressive.
And when you add on the top of the fact that the black unemployment is at the lowest levels, a lot of the things that you would necessarily give Obama credit for that he talked about happening are actually happening on President Trump's watch. I don't think liberals can handle it because it defeats their entire narrative about how evil and corrupt and ineffective President Trump is, but Trump will always be viewed as results driven. Obama was about hope, and he's about speeches, and he was about lofty ideals. But when you look at the actual results of this president compared to the last president, only in 16 months, I mean, the proof is in the pudding.
WILLIAMS: I see. Well, you know what I'm going to do now? I'm nominating you for the Trump cabinet, because I think that kind of thought.
WATTERS: I don't think I'd get through the vetting.
WILLIAMS: Yes, excellent.
PERINO: You don't have to worry about that.
(CROSSTALK) WILLIAMS: There is no vetting, so that's right. But I think.
GUTFELD: There's no extreme vetting.
WILLIAMS: Yes, Trump would love to hear from you. I'm telling you that. You know, I won't even have to go through line by line to say, that's a lot. But, I will say this, so it's the widow of a former president of South Korea who said, oh, you know, Moon Jae-in, who is the president of South Korea, now you should get a Nobel Prize for bringing folks to the table. Moon Jae-in very graciously said, oh, no, not me, President Trump. And why was that smart to quote Ms. Perino? It's smart because our president loves to be flattered. He loves to be.
GUTFELD: Who doesn't?
PERINO: I didn't say smart because of that. I've said smart because if you are thinking strategically on long term, you don't want to be the one taking the credit. You need the president to come to the table.
WILLIAMS: Exactly.
PERINO: . with your best interest in mind.
WILLIAMS: And you need the president to play along with you in order to achieve the end, and Moon Jae-in's end is peace on the Korean peninsula, and to try to, somehow, smooth out the difficulties that we all know had been interminable between North Korea, China, South Korea, Japan, and, of course, us, the USA. So, to me, this whole thing is about the people who are Trump supporters, so hungry for anything that would say their guy is great. He's doing great. He's doing fine. He's going to get a Nobel Peace Prize. It looks desperate to me.
GUTFELD: No, it doesn't -- I actually agree with you that people are hungry for that because they feel this is an injustice that this guy is doing a good job. You look at ISIS, you look at jobs, you look at North Korea, he's probably working on Iran right now.
WILLIAMS: Who said I'm going to pull out of Syria.
GUTFELD: And then he changed his mind.
WILLIAMS: Who's changing his mind.
(CROSSTALK) WILLIAMS: What is going on with Iran? The rest of the world.
(CROSSTALK) GUTFELD: Let me get back to my point. Why are people who like Trump desperate for something? Because Gorsuch, ISIS, North Korea, jobs, and on CNN, it's Stormy, Stormy, Stormy.
PERINO: Then we always see nobody is watching CNN.
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: In the airports, Dana.
(CROSSTALK) GUILFOYLE: In gift shops everywhere. And I'm not going to stand for it anymore.
(CROSSTALK) WILLIAMS: Let me just say something before you go on. Michelle Wolf, major point, Greg. She said, hey, these guys, all you want to talk about is Stormy and Russia, and you're making money off of it. You created this Trump.
GUILFOYLE: OK. Well, this Stormy, like a three-minute encounter -- I don't know about that.
(CROSSTALK)
GUILFOYLE: The point is in the relative scheme of things of the world, we've got things going on in North Korea, South Korea. We have problems in Iran, Syria, all over the world. That's just foreign policy and national security. And guess what? I do want a president that's actually going to respond in real-time to what's happening in the theater and not to have a stagnant policy. Foreign policy must evolve and must adapt and pivot. It's also hand-in-hand with military policy and strategy, right? He has to be able to respond to it or he's not doing his job.
WILLIAMS: Well, I think other presidents have responded, but maybe not the way you wanted.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: Trump is obsessed with Obama. He's always saying Obama did, Obama didn't.
WATTERS: Obama was never obsessed with.
GUILFOYLE: I'm talking about.
WATTERS: . George W. Bush.
GUILFOYLE: I'm talking about.
(CROSSTALK) WILLIAMS: I think everybody runs against the last one, right? But I think that this guy, as president, acts as if either Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama is still president.
(CROSSTALK) GUILFOYLE: His title as president, commander-in-chief, right, of all the forces. OK. Remember that caravan of migrants? Well, it just reached the border. President Trump's reaction when The Five returns.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK) WATTERS: The caravan of asylum seeking migrants is at America's southern border. And as you can see our current wall in San Diego isn't doing much to stop them.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
JESSE WATTERS, CO-HOST: The caravan of asylum-seeking migrants is at America's southern border. And as you can see, our current wall in San Diego isn't doing much to stop them from entering. Many of the illegal immigrants are now camping out in Mexico after being turned away by the Trump administration. The president is reacting to this latest development by calling for funding for his big, beautiful border wall.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DONALD TRUMP (R), PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: We are a nation of laws. We have to have borders. We don't have borders, we don't have a country. And I've been watching for weeks as the caravan came up.
We have to have changes in Congress, and we have to have it quickly. We need a wall, No. 1. And you see that right now. You know, where they are, even though it's not a particularly good wall, and even though a small percentage can climb to the top, they have to be in extremely good shape. But a small percentage can climb that particular wall. We have a wall that's what's more difficult.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Vice President Pence was on the ground today in California, checking out the new border wall construction.
Greg, you've said this a few times. The caravan was almost designed to help President Trump politically. What do you think?
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: It's a terrible visual image for amnesty and an amazing image for people who prefer process and enforced borders.
But the most obvious question, if this is an asylum claim, why not just stop in Mexico? If you are truly desperate, right, you should be overjoyed to get out of your horrible country and get to Mexico. But no, you're saying, "Mexico is not enough for me. I need to get to the United States." That's insulting to Mexico, and it's kind of pushy. It's a bit -- you're cutting in line. I don't -- Americans don't like it when you cut in line.
And when you look at the groups, there's a lot of young, able-bodied men showing up. And you think, "These are not refugees." This is a symbolic political gesture that is backfiring. When you see that, it's backfiring. All it does is just prove that we need law and order; we need process.
WATTERS: Look at that visual right there. I mean, you're right. It's made to order. Anybody that sees this in this country sees how easy it is to breach our southern border, Kimberly. Look at that. And the minute they step foot on American soil, they're entitled to a process where then they can go in front of a judge and claim that they're scared to return to Honduras.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Yes, that's the problem, you know. So everybody but -- when people are desperate and they're trying to flee their countries, they'll do just about anything for themselves and for their family. When you have that kind of sense of desperation: where will I work tomorrow? How will I feed my children? So that's why you have mothers, pregnant mothers even going -- coming over here. and they are, like, "Listen, I hear that if I come over and I can give birth in the United States, then my child can stay there and, hopefully, then the rest of the family can come." That is their business plan. That is the business plan.
And of course this is a country founded on immigrants, wonderful people from all over the world. So we want to have open arms and be welcoming, but we want to do it with an eye towards public safety and national security and securing the border, because it makes for a safer situation for everyone and for a lawful process that should be followed and abided by.
So the president is fulfilling his campaign promises. We understand his reasoning, and then it's also important, if you're going to try to work on it, to make it more of a -- you know, a cooperative understanding. What's going on here, they've got to come into the laws, to enjoy the benefit of being in this country, but follow the law first before you get in.
WATTERS: Right. So you want to be compassionate but also fair --
GUILFOYLE: Right.
WATTERS: -- and tough, Juan. So the president wants --
GUILFOYLE: People waiting in line.
WATTERS: Right. He wants merit-based immigration, too. And that's important when you see these images.
JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: Well, this is not about merit-based.
WATTERS: Exactly.
WILLIAMS: This is about asylum. And remember, Greg, that in fact this caravan, which is an annual event, I think --
GUTFELD: Right.
WILLIAMS: -- for the last five years or so. Most of the people did stop in Mexico. You have about 50 people who were trying to get in here, and what they want to do is to force the United States to give them an asylum hearing.
GUTFELD: Right.
WILLIAMS: And they believe that, based on the evidence of not only political instability but actual violence, oftentimes perpetrated by gangs and the like, that they have a case to be made. And that's why you have American lawyers on the other side of the fence, giving them counseling about what to say, how to handle the asylum situation.
But I agree with you guys. I think this is tailor-made for President Trump and people who are anti-immigrant to say, "Hey, the border --"
WATTERS: Anti-illegal immigrant.
WILLIAMS: No, no, because remember, Trump's proposal --
GUILFOYLE: Not anti-immigrant.
WILLIAMS: -- was to cut legal immigration to the United States.
WATTERS: Because he wants merit-based, not the lottery.
WILLIAMS: No, no. Excuse me. He didn't -- it didn't matter. Merit or not merit, he wanted to cut legal immigration.
WATTERS: As a result of merit-based.
WILLIAMS: No, no, no. He just wants to cut every -- he even wants to cut people who are qualified for legal merit-based immigration. But I just say --
WATTERS: Can we get Dana in real quick? Let me get Dana. So the president also says he wants to get more funding for the wall next time in the fall, wants to shut the government down if he doesn't get it.
PERINO: Yes. Yes, so September 28, it's all setting up for a really big midterm election campaign issue. I think that this video is an in-kind contribution to President Trump. And he might have to check out what those contribution limits are down there.
I do think that the president could be in a position now. When -- these people will not all get in. They'll have to go back. But one thing that he could do -- he's on, like, a foreign policy roll right now. And he's had some really good meetings with world leaders.
And these people in El Salvador, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, et cetera, that have these problems. Just like we've been saying about Syria. If you help solve the problem at its source --
WATTERS: Right.
PERINO: -- and if the issue is law and order, if the president can figure out a way to help them with their law and order problem, people won't want to leave home.
WATTERS: Yes, we definitely need to focus on Central America a little bit more.
All right. Ahead, a merry-go-round of excuses from MSNBC host Joy Reid. Her pals in the liberal media, of course, rushing to her defense. The hypocrisy up next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WILLIAMS: Welcome back. MSNBC's Joy Reid is continuing to feel the heat over controversial blog posts. The anchor's lawyer saying last week that the FBI was investigating potential hacking. But now Reid says there's no proof.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JOY REID, MSNBC: I genuinely do not believe I wrote those hateful things, because they are completely alien to me. But I can definitely understand, based on things I have tweeted and have written in the past, why some people don't believe me. I have not been exempt from being dumb or cruel or hurtful to the very people I want to advocate for. I own that. I get it. And for that, I am truly, truly sorry.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: Well, this is interesting, because even now that she says that she hired, the cybersecurity folks, couldn't find any evidence that there was manipulation, she says she still doesn't believe she wrote some of it. But some of the stuff that she does say she wrote, Jesse, it was pretty awful in terms of going after the gay community.
WATTERS: It wasn't great. It was offensive. But you know, I'd rather listen to the news from someone that's offensive than someone who's a liar. She thinks her audience are idiots. I mean, come on. We're not stupid. We get that you wrote these things, and we get that you're lying about that.
I was reading Axios over the weekend, Dana, and they made a very good point about how Brian Williams was treated. Remember, he misremembered or wasn't completely honest about a war story. He was not fired. He was then kind of demoted to MSNBC. So they're not going to treat Brian Williams any -- the same as Joy Reid. Both of them lied or misremembered, and they're both probably going to stay.
WILLIAMS: Well, Dana, is it worse than -- I mean, one of the arguments would be MSNBC says if you're homophobic, that's a firable offense, but if you sort of tell -- didn't understand, maybe you lied. I don't know.
WATTERS: Did you lie about your homophobia?
PERINO: Well, I would -- I would certainly defend her right to say anything and also to change her opinion and to talk about it.
I do -- I did hesitate last week, because I thought I don't understand this whole hacking thing. And then it sounds like, "Oh, we can't find proof yet."
And it -- there is a real double standard with people being run out of town or publications based on their prior writings. And one great example, just two weeks ago Kevin Williamson, a fantastic writer from National Review, a conservative, gets hired by the Atlantic. I was so excited. I was like, "Oh, I'm going to re-subscribe to The Atlantic." So I did.
He starts -- he wrote one piece for them. It was a fantastic piece. But they looked back and they say, "Oh, he wants to basically have -- women who have abortions should be hanged." They don't give him a chance to explain his position. He actually was willing to explain it all. He didn't say, "I don't actually think I wrote that. I'm pretty sure that wasn't me." He was willing to own it and to explain his position, which actually does make sense to me when you listen to it in full. So there is a lot of double standards going around here.
WILLIAMS: So Kimberly, she did lose -- or at least have her column at The Daily Beast suspended. And I think she's under tremendous pressure at the moment. What do you think?
GUILFOYLE: Well, I mean, she made the comments, right? So she had to come out and she had to apologize. Hopefully, she uses this as a, you know, teachable moment for herself to try to move forward, to understand that that kind of, you know, bigotry should not be tolerated.
She's somebody that has, you know, spoken out on behalf of women's rights. She's quick to criticize other people, but now she's had to, you know, look in the mirror and say, "Wait a second. Did I make these comments? Were they offensive?" And address, you know, the public to say, "Here's where I am."
So let's see where she goes, you know, going forward. There's already been some repercussions from it, right? So hopefully, she's going to learn. She's going to think about what she's saying and what she's doing and how she's treating other people.
WILLIAMS: And Greg, you said, you know, Americans do have evolving opinions on gay rights.
GUTFELD: Yes. And you know what? I am pro stupid amnesty. Everyone has said stupid things. We all have. And I mean, we talked about this, how Kanye said awful things about George Bush. Donald Trump has said awful things that he probably regrets if he doesn't -- if he's already forgotten. Maybe not.
But I guess my problem is I don't think the -- I don't think the people supporting Joy Reid, like Media Matters, will reserve the same kind of compassion for us. They will come for us with the knives out. Anytime we screw up, they want our jobs.
GUILFOYLE: Double standard.
GUTFELD: They do the boycotts. I get the impulse at MSNBC to circle the wagon, but I hope, if you're watching, that this compromises your future attempts to demonize adversaries over a target. When you -- when one of us says something that is stupid, you should say, "You know what? That guy defended Joy Reid, and he was right."
WATTERS: Yes. And we're going to say, "I don't remember saying that."
GUTFELD: Yes.
GUILFOYLE: Well-rehearsed, Greg and Jesse.
WILLIAMS: All right, a behind-the-scenes look at one of the hottest dinners in Nashville. Guess why? Dana and Jesse were waiting on the tables. Don't miss it. Straight ahead.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PERINO: Last week, Jesse and I had the honor of attending the waiting for 17th annual Waiting for Wishes Dinner in Nashville to help raise money for some very special charities. At this dinner, we waited the tables, and it was an amazing night. Jesse, we haven't seen this yet.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Let's welcome Dana Perino. Jesse Watters.
PERINO: I don't know how Jesse Watters got invited, though. Do you want to tell us anything about that?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I don't know either. It was a complete surprise to me, too.
WATTERS: You guys want a picture with the real (UNINTELLIGIBLE). Here we go.
PERINO: Wait, this is my world!
He's like my kid brother. I've got to take him along with me everywhere.
I did wait tables years ago. So we'll figure this out. I'm not even sure what I'm doing. But we'll make it work.
WATTERS: I need brown bread. They told me that someone needs brown bread.
Three plates!
PERINO: Jesse, are you working?
WATTERS: I'm working. I'm taking pictures here.
PERINO: Are you hardly working?
WATTERS: I need brown bread for a table. More of that brown bread. Where do I get that? It's in the kitchen.
Can I butter your roll?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Actually, if you could do that.
WATTERS: I'm going to butter your roll. Do you like a lot of butter or a little butter?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: A lot. A lot.
WATTERS: Want me to slather it on?
Let me sign something. You probably just want the NFL players to sign it. Am I going to ruin it?
PERINO: How much is Jasper worth?
WATTERS: You better be putting money in for me. Right?
PERINO: And you can vote for me. You know how to do that.
WATTERS: Steak knives for everybody. Twenty dollars a knife. I'm going to dig in.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Go ahead.
WATTERS: We're friends, right?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes.
WATTERS: What do you want, medium rare? That's good.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Is that good?
PERINO: This is Bailey. Make him famous.
WATTERS: I like the pocket square. That's sharp. Can I give you a little secret? Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.
PERINO: I've got to take a plate back.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're just doing it for the camera. We know.
PERINO: Are you eating that?
WATTERS: I'm actually working. This is not my place. I just sat down.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You worked the whole night.
PERINO: Thank you.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We've got Jesse Watters and Dana Perino. I mean, obviously --
(END VIDEOTAPE)
PERINO: Jesse, that made us look like we were the only celebrities there.
WATTERS: I know. There was a lot bigger celebrities.
PERINO: Much bigger celebrities. It was a really amazing --
GUTFELD: You're a good waitress. You had plates going up your arm.
PERINO: Yes, that's how I got through college.
GUTFELD: Wow.
GUILFOYLE: And she was a DJ. She's recession proof.
PERINO: I mean, I worked a lot. But it was a really wonderful event. What did you think about meeting Kevin Carter?
WATTERS: He was great. And that young man who I give a tip about the pocket square, he was the ambassador. He's a young kid. And we raised a lot of money for the Make-a-Wish Foundation, so it was worthwhile. Maybe Kimberly can come next year and wait some tables, as well. Juan, I'm not so sure. Greg is probably busy.
GUTFELD: Yes.
GUILFOYLE: I'm very good at dishes, too.
PERINO: Oh, but you know what they have? They needed bartenders.
GUTFELD: I would be a great bartender.
WATTERS: Chris Collinsworth bartended the entire thing. I think that was his way of getting out of waiting tables.
PERINO: Also, Tito Ortiz was there. And that was a big deal, right?
WATTERS: He gave me a tip on how to fight. He said, "If you're ever in a fight, Watters, punch them in the nose."
PERINO: He's right.
GUILFOYLE: Because it stuns them and then their eyes water, and they'll blink.
GUTFELD: Because like, he can punch. And you could...
WATTERS: I can take a punch. I've got a big chain.
PERINO: I've never been to an event like that before where you have all sorts of different people. And the patrons, they pay to come to the dinner, but then they have to pay extra for all sorts of other things. And then there's the live auction.
WATTERS: That's right. And someone won a tour of FOX News, and they're going to watch "The Five" show, as well.
WILLIAMS: Cool.
GUTFELD: What did they pay for that?
WATTERS: I'm not going to tell.
PERINO: I know. Do you know?
WATTERS: I know, but I think you took a cut of that, didn't you, Dana?
PERINO: No, I didn't take a cut. Oh, my gosh. But it was a lot. And of course, it's going to be worth it.
All right. Thanks for inviting us. "One More Thing" is up next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: "One More Thing." Well, you probably didn't know this, but I'm quite the entrepreneur. I spend my weekends trying to invent new products. And I think I came across something that I think is going to be very big.
GUILFOYLE: Let's see.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS: Sometimes I need the hard news of the day. But other times I just want to cuddle. Why can't I have both?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, now you can with the new Bret Bear. He's fair and balanced and unafraid to snuggle. Just squeeze his tummy and get informed.
BRET BAIER, FOX NEWS ANCHOR: The 41st president wants to go to Maine this summer.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Bret Bear fits in with even the most sophisticated crowd.
BAIER: Jeff Sessions will not recuse himself from the investigation into the president's personal attorney, Michael Cohen.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So get your Bret Bear today.
BAIER: I'm Bret Baier in Washington, and I'll see you later.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Oh, yes.
PERINO: Shark Tank.
GUTFELD: Yes.
GUILFOYLE: People might actually want that.
GUTFELD: That's the protype.
WATTERS: I like it.
GUILFOYLE: I like it.
GUTFELD: Dana.
PERINO: All right. Tomorrow, I have -- sometimes I have just perfect timing with all this foreign policy stuff going on. I have Condoleezza Rice on the show tomorrow, the 2 p.m. show, "The Daily Briefing." She just wrote a book called "Political Risk." She wrote it with Hoover senior fellow Amy Zegart. And we're going to be able to talk about North Korea, Iran and what else, you guys? Any other hot spots you want to talk about, China?
GUILFOYLE: Yes. I want to talk about Syria.
GUTFELD: Vermont.
GUILFOYLE: And Vermont.
WATTERS: Central America.
PERINO: I hope you tune in tomorrow.
GUILFOYLE: We love Condoleezza.
WILLIAMS: Well, you should also ask her about college basketball. She's the head of the college basketball.
PERINO: And knows a lot about that.
GUILFOYLE: She can come on The Five.
WILLIAMS: That's true.
GUTFELD: She canceled us.
GUILFOYLE: I know.
WILLIAMS: All right. Big hockey night in Nashville. I am not talking about the Predators playing Winnipeg in the Western Conference finals. It was a big night, because the National Hockey League team honored James Shaw Jr. About a week ago, the 29-year-old heroically tackled a gunman who had already killed four people and wounded four others at a local all- night restaurant. Shaw got to meet the team's coach. He was given his own personalized jersey. And when he was announced to the huge crowd, they gave him a roaring ovation. Shaw has also raised more than $160,000 for the victims of the Waffle House shooting. Way to go and Predators, you guys go, too. That was a really class act.
GUTFELD: Amazing. All right, Kimberly.
GUILFOYLE: And at that same hockey game, Carrie Underwood, America's sweetheart besides Dana Perino, she took the ice at the Bridgestone Arena at Nashville over the weekend, and she performed an absolutely flawless rendition of the national anthem. If you would, take a listen.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CARRIE UNDERWOOD, COUNTRY MUSIC STAR (singing): O say can you see by the dawn's early light?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: How beautiful was that? Now that is how you sing a national anthem. She nailed it and she did it in front of her husband, Mike Fisher, who is the team's central player. And his face say -- I think she was like his good luck charm, because they --
PERINO: They won.
GUILFOYLE: Had a 5-4 win, exactly. The Predators against the Jets.
WATTERS: Fergie should pay attention. That's how you do it.
So there was a paddle boarder in Australia, and something ridiculous happened. I think he's paddling along. Oh! Taken out by a dolphin. It looks like the dolphin did it on porpoise. Did it on porpoise, Greg.
PERINO: Oh, that poor dolphin.
WATTERS: Body-checks this guy.
GUTFELD: That's amazing.
PERINO: It's one of my biggest fears. It's why I don't go out.
WATTERS: They're violent animals.
WATTERS: Well, you don't paddle board.
GUTFELD: They're violent animals.
PERINO: Don't go whale watching.
GUTFELD: All right.
GUILFOYLE: Dolphins can attack you in other ways, too.
GUTFELD: Set your DVR. Never miss an episode of "The Five." "Special Report" up next. Hey, Bret, how are you doing?
BAIER: You know, I didn't buy into that when you told me what you are doing.
GUILFOYLE: Isn't it cute?
GUTFELD: It's waiting here for you.
BAIER: Fair, balanced and ready to snuggle.
WATTERS: Squeeze it.
GUILFOYLE: Look at his ears, are so cute. Little fuzzy.
BAIER: Thank you. So cute.
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