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An anonymous father on Reddit asked users if he’s in the wrong for refusing to pay his college-enrolled daughter for babysitting and completing chores – and people appear to be divided in the comments section.
Reddit user Throwaway476905, who couldn’t immediately be reached for comment since his account was suspended at the time of publication, submitted a post to the "Am I the A------" subreddit on Monday, Jan. 16, where he shared his apparent familial dispute.
The father wrote that he asks his 20-year-old daughter to babysit his 5-year-old twin sons about three times a week without pay. In addition, he wrote that he believes his request is a reasonable one because he’s paying his daughter’s college tuition and she lives with him rent-free.
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"Occasionally she has to watch over her younger brothers since I may be busy with work or when I need a break to hang out with my girlfriend," Throwaway476905 wrote.
An anonymous father of a 20-year-old woman and two twin boys (not pictured) asked Reddit users if he's wrong for refusing to pay his daughter for babysitting and doing chores. (iStock)
Throwaway476905’s daughter asked him to lessen her babysitting duties, according to the post.
"She told me she's okay with cooking and cleaning around the house, but having to watch over her siblings was annoying & stressful and that it's taking away from her studies," Throwaway476905 wrote.
"That p****d me off because I myself went to school while having to pay bills & take care of her as a baby alongside my ex-wife," he continued. "I told her she was acting very privileged and that if I could do it, so could she. She didn't like that very much and stormed off into her room."
The dispute reportedly escalated when Throwaway476905’s daughter told her aunt [Throwaway476905’s sister] about the exchange she had with her father, he wrote.
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Throwaway476905 described his sister as "very kind" and "gullible at times," and wrote that he didn’t like that his sister suggested he pay his daughter an allowance.
Throwaway476905, an anonymous father on Reddit, shared he doesn't think he should have to pay his 20-year-old daughter for babysitting and doing chores because he's paying her college tuition and lets her live with him rent-free. (iStock)
"I explained why I felt that wasn't necessary and she told me not to compare my situation to my Daughter's since apparently I put myself in the position I was in back then which I guess is a fair argument," Throwaway476905 wrote.
He reiterated that he doesn’t think an allowance should be necessary since his daughter lives in their shared home and is having her college tuition paid, but he was open to hearing from strangers on the internet about whether he’s "wrong for not wanting to pay her extra money to do basic chores."
More than 9,000 people upvoted Throwaway476905’s post and he was ultimately labeled an "A------" by Reddit voters, but the post started a debate in the 5,400-plus comments left under his query.
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The post’s commenter, a user who received more than 30,900 upvotes from the "Am I the A------" Reddit community, said Throwaway476905 was in the wrong – referencing how the father of three argued how he "went to school while having to pay bills & take care of her as a baby alongside."
"That was your own baby and your own decision, same as now," the top commenter wrote. "[Your] daughter has no kids, it's not her responsibility."
A 20-year-old college student is reportedly being asked to care for her 5-year-old twin brothers about three times a week in addition to other household chores, her father explained in an anonymous Reddit post. (iStock)
In response to the top comment, one Reddit user initially sided with the dad, and wrote, "She’s living there rent free…that’s her allowance for these chores."
The user revised their original response to the following – "You should be paying her for babysitting, you don’t need to pay her for the other chores though."
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A Reddit user agreed with the revised comment and wrote that they don’t think an allowance is needed for household chores.
"…but she absolutely should get paid for watching children she didn't choose to have - since they're her siblings, not children," the commenter wrote, which earned more than 9,200 upvotes.
Throwaway476905, an anonymous father on Reddit, wrote that his sister has suggested he pay his college-aged daughter for babysitting and completing household chores while he works and takes time to see his girlfriend. (iStock)
"I think if she’s asked to babysit once every few weeks, that is the equivalent of a chore," another Reddit user wrote. "If it’s multiple times a week, that changes things."
Some commenters expressed that they think the father could be seen as selfish since he noted that he asks his daughter to watch his young sons when he wants to spend time with his girlfriend.
"I see that this person ‘NEEDS’ to ‘hang out with his girlfriend’ and not care for his children quite a bit and that is odd phrasing," one user wrote, which garnered more than 1,100 upvotes.
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Other Reddit users asked if the daughter is already handling the majority of the household chores since the father acknowledged he asks her to cook, clean and do "typical things you're expected to do on a daily basis anyways" in addition to watching her young brothers.
Suspended Reddit user Throwaway476905 wrote that he asks his college-aged daughter to cook, clean and do other household chores in addition to babysitting her elementary-aged twin brothers. (iStock)
Many commenters shared that they think there’s cause for concern if the father’s babysitting requests are truly getting in the way of the daughter's schoolwork.
One Reddit user wrote that they believe it’s "not reasonable" to ask a college student to watch children under the age of nine for three or four days per week.
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"I fully expect that older children can and should on occasion help care for younger siblings when necessary - in emergencies or once in a while situations," the Reddit user elaborated. "It's just what families do. But if it's frequent or regular there needs to be some compensation [in my opinion], and if it's interfering with school? That's a problem."
