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A woman who was kicked out of a wedding party and disinvited from the wedding was assured she would not be wrong for choosing to skip the bridal shower and end her friendship with the bride.
Reddit user "my-hero-macadamia" asked Reddit's "Am I the A--hole" subreddit this question in a post on Tuesday, Jan. 2, titled "WIBTA if I don’t attend my friend’s bridal shower after she outed me as a bridesmaid and disinvited me from her wedding (but still wants to be friends)?"
"WIBTA" stands for "Would I be the a--hole," and is used when a person has not yet committed the action in question.
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In the post, the woman said her friend is getting married in May and last summer asked her to be a bridesmaid.
"I was ecstatic, and of course said yes," the woman wrote.
A Reddit user says she was removed from a friend's bridal party (not pictured) after she got in a fight with her ex, who is the officiant — even though she says they made up and all is well. (iStock)
She said she was formerly in a serious relationship with one of the groomsmen, who will be officiating at the wedding.
While they split amicably last February and maintained a decent relationship since then, they "got into an argument" in November.
"A lot of pent-up feelings came up," she said, and it "turned into anger toward one another."
The anger, however, was short-lived — and they "made up and hugged it out" a few days later, she revealed.
While "my-hero-macadamia" and her ex are now apparently on good terms, the bride was not so sure — and booted the woman from the bridal party.
"I tried talking to her while the fight was going on, but was pretty much met with silence," the original poster wrote on Reddit.
"My other girlfriends were very supportive and gave me advice, despite their SOs also being friends with my ex."
The Reddit user said that she understood her friend (not pictured) had anxiety over her wedding, but was "feeling so hurt" about the situation. (iStock)
She continued, saying "it was a tricky situation, because we are all friends, but I wasn't asking anyone to take sides. [I] just really needed a friend in that moment and didn't get that from her."
Rather than talk to the woman to share what was going on, the bride "nixed me from the bridal party and disinvited me from the wedding altogether," she said.
"And [she] ended it with ‘I love you, you’re one of my closest friends, I just have to think about me and my wedding right now,'" wrote my-hero-macadamia.
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While the woman said she understands that wedding planning is stressful, she also wrote that she "can't help feeling so hurt that she doesn't trust me as a friend to be 100% there for her on her wedding day."
She added, "Is it really terrible of me not to go to her shower? Like I just really don’t want to spend money on a gift after this."
The woman was reassured by nearly 300 people that she was just fine for not wanting to go to the bridal shower of a bride who kicked her out of the wedding party. (iStock)
The original poster wrote in an update to her story that she planned on ending her friendship with the bride and that she would be speaking to her ex later in the day, "just to see where he stands on it."
Fox News Digital reached out to "my-hero-macadamia" to see if there were any further updates to the story — and also reached out a psychologist and an etiquette expert for professional insight into the situation.
Said Dr. Jayme Albin, PhD, a psychotherapist in New York City, "Weddings are very emotional. They carry a lot of weight in friendships and can be a deal breaker for moving forward."
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She added, "Clearly the bride favors the ex-boyfriend over the bridesmaid, otherwise he would not be officiating the wedding."
Albin also told Fox News Digital, "The bridesmaid should not go to the shower. She clearly is not respected and appreciated by the bride. If the bride really wanted the bridemaid there, then she should have simply told them both to avoid each other at the wedding or keep it civil."
She concluded, "The bride is getting too involved in the drama and catastrophizing the outcome, probably out of fear."
"This is a wild situation and it seems like the only one not handling it like an adult is the bride."
On the AITA subreddit, people can reply to posts and indicate the poster is "NTA" ("Not the A--hole"), "YTA" ("You're the A--hole"), "NAH" ("No A--holes Here") or "ESH" ("Everyone Sucks Here").
Users can "upvote" comments they find helpful, and "downvote" those they do not.
The bride's anxiety was "no excuse" for how she was treating the now-former bridesmaid, said one Reddit user. (iStock)
The majority of Reddit users — in nearly 300 replies to the post — said that my-hero-macadamia was "NTA" for wanting to skip the bridal shower. Many encouraged her to drop the friendship entirely.
"This is a wild situation and it seems like the only one not handling it like an adult is the bride," wrote "MochiPryncess" in the top-upvoted reply.
This commenter continued, "Also, why are you the only one being asked to back out? Two people are required for a relationship to succeed or fail (or exist at all)."
Another top comment, written by "shrimpandshooflypie," said that "my-hero-macadamia" would "be an AH to yourself" if she continued being friends with the bride.
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"It’s kind of you to try to excuse her behavior on wedding brain, but really, it’s no excuse for the way she’s treating you," wrote this responder.
"Don’t go to the shower, and seriously please ponder this friendship dynamic altogether," the user added.
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Another user had some firm advice regarding the bridal shower invitation.
"Tell her you value your friendship and her opinion and therefore have decided to let her completely focus on her wedding by not attending any wedding related events," said user SuspiciousJuice5825.
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