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A man who told his daughter that she should lose weight in order to get attention from men says he now wonders if he crossed the line.
The doting father shared his parental conundrum in a Reddit post, detailing his 24-year-old daughter's struggle with finding a boyfriend.
"My daughter is very overweight (5'3 and about 200 lbs). She always talks about how she wants a boyfriend, and she has never had one," the father, who is 52, wrote.
One day at the dinner table, he said, his daughter went on a "long rant" about her love life -- or lack thereof.
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Woman stares in mirror to observe her body. (Photo: iStock)
"She was saying that it's unfair that all her friends have boyfriends and get attention from guys," he said, "and how guys are [expletive] who never give her the time of day."
"She's gone on similar rants before, where she acts like it is inexplicable why she is not getting the same attention," he added.
Deciding to impart some fatherly advice, he suggested that shedding a few pounds could do his daughter some good. "I told her delicately that it could be helpful to try losing some weight," he wrote, "that unfortunately people are often shallow and that could be something that would help her get male attention, feel more confident, and also generally be healthier."
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I knew it would be a sore spot but in my mind my intentions were good
Unfortunately for him, his daughter didn’t take his advice well at all. "She yelled at me about how ‘all guys are the same, even my [expletive] dad’ and stormed off," he said.
Despite his daughter’s reaction, the father insisted that he meant no harm.
“I was genuinely trying to be helpful, and I knew it would be a sore spot but in my mind my intentions were good,” he wrote. “She has no genetic predisposition to being overweight (nobody else in the family is), she has no condition that I am aware of, but rather she eats quite a bit and does not get much exercise,” the author added.
“I have tried to encourage her to come for a run with me, and to give her healthy food options, but have never explicitly spoken to her about her weight before this.”
Some Reddit users slammed the dad for being insensitive and hurtful.
Shot of a woman weighing herself at home. (Photo: iStock)
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“Maybe bringing this up at another time would be appropriate, but the poor girl is clearly hurt and insecure and lashing out in anger,” one commenter said, “and her DAD hits her with a ‘well lose some weight and maybe you’ll be able to get a Boyfriend’ basically saying, men will only value you for your looks. A pretty unhealthy mindset for a FATHER to impose on his Daughter.”
Most commenterss, however, appeared to agree with the father’s approach.
“He is being genuine and kind especially with a topic such as this. He’s her father and it’s a suggestion towards her that is coming from his heart,” one person wrote. “Also, from what it sounds like, part of the reason guys might not like her is because of her angry personality.”
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Another user wrote: “My father had the same talk with me when i was growing up. I was so hurt by what he said at first, but now that i look back at it, he had good intentions just not the smoothest delivery.”
“He wasn't as kind about it but i am glad he said something! i lost 30+ lbs and fell in love with staying in shape,” the person added. “Any time i start falling back into old bad habits of eating and laziness i just remember my dad saying, ‘Maybe you should put down the Mountain Dew and Snickers.’”
