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A matchmaker's brutal advice to a 39-year-old woman who said she would "chew" "beta men" and "spit them out," went viral on TikTok, quickly obtaining 1M views in 24 hours.
Danielle Fewings posted about her ordeal with a luxury matchmaker, whose consultation fee cost $350. The services themselves cost thousands of dollars, Fewings said.
Fewings went on a rant about how she was "rejected by a matchmaker," who refused to offer her services. The matchmaker said that men prefer "softer" women, and that Fewings had a lot of walls up and was not ready for a committed relationship.
"I was rejected by a matchmaker this week. She said she wouldn't be able to work with me," the TikToker said.
Woman describes being rejected by a luxury matchmaker, who had a brutal message she called "toxic."
Fewings told the matchmaker she was looking for a Type A man, a leader, who was at or above her income level, driven, ambitious and ready to get married. She also described herself as "very type-A, organized… She may have actually picked up on the fact that I'm a little high-strung. I'm not like a stressed-out or anxious person. I'm just high energy, Type A. And this is who I am."
To Fewing's bewilderment, the matchmaker asked her if she does more traditional wifey things like meditating and journaling.
"I said no. In fact, I'm not even on the same planet as woo (meaning, a more traditional type of girl)."
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"When talking about what I didn't like in a man. I said I could never really be with a beta-type man. I specifically used the word doormat. I said I would chew them up and spit them out. And her response was… that men really like a soft woman and I should try some of these vision board journaling, meditating types of things," she said. "Whatever, be that type of person."
The matchmaker also said that Fewings had walls up, which the single attributed to the awkwardness of meeting a matchmaker with the hopes of finding a husband at the rate of "several thousand dollars."
'She also said that she could sense I had some walls up, which, of course, I'm coming to meet a woman who I'm asking to find my future husband at the rate of several thousand dollars. Of course, I am going to be here really just trying to interview you, my dear friend. Because I want to know if I'm going to get my money's worth with you. So of course I'm going to have some walls up."
The single accused the matchmaker of giving "toxic" dating advice. (iStock)
She then criticized the matchmaker for failing to do advance research on her prospective client.
"I also think it's perfectly normal to have some walls up when you are meeting someone for the very first time and who also had not taken the time to do her own research on me by stalking me on the internet. She definitely didn't have time because she asked for my socials for more than one hour before our meeting."
The matchmaker then told the single she couldn't offer her service.
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"She essentially said that I am not ready for her type of services because I have too much work to do. My walls are too high. I'm not ready for a long-term, committed relationship. At the ripe age of 38, I have been in therapy for 10+ years. She also said that she's too woo for me, which, I can accept that that's fine. However, I shouldn't need to be a woo type person to be worthy of love."
"She also said that I need to soften a little bit and men like a softer woman."
The matchmaker's fees costs thousands of dollars, not including a $350 consultation fee. (Adobe Stock)
The single complained that she spent hundreds just to be brutally rejected and said her matchmaking license should be revoked.
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"Essentially, I spent $350 to meet with this woman to have her tell me I am not worthy of love as I am. But the fact that I need to change in order to be worthy of love and partnership, which honestly, I think for that reason alone, she should have her matchmaking license taken away because we shouldn't be pushing on these narratives that people are not worthy as they are, and essentially telling women that the type of woman they are isn't worthy of love. That is a narrative that should not be given to anyone. It is dangerous commentary and the fact that she said this to my face had some audacity.
"Well, we're celebrating my 38th birthday tonight, and we are going to wash all of what she said aside," she said. "I am so excited, and we're going to believe that no matter the type of woman you are, love is out there for you. We are not going to listen to this toxic narrative."