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So, I often wake up to the same thing every morning. Larry Kudlow asking me if he can use my toothbrush and I say yes. 

But I also wake up to a question in my brain, "whose apartment is this?" Where are my pants? But also, does politics make people stupid or do stupid people flock to politics? 

GREG GUTFELD: THE LEFT WANTS YOU 'ANGRY, DESPERATE AND CONFUSED'

It's really the old chicken and egg question, except here nobody wants to eat Nancy or Joe or Beto for breakfast. First there's Beto. Speaking of chicken, an unemployed career politician who crashed a press conference put on by grieving leaders and law enforcement a day after the Texas mass shooting, only to grandstand for political reasons. This guy has that political instincts of Idi Amin and Pol Pot combined. Excuse me. 

You see, Beto is a tragedy freeloader. He could have been a personal injury lawyer, but he lacked the integrity. He saw a horrible event and thought, how can I benefit from this? 

As you know, he's running for governor of Texas after failing that before and failing a bunch of things, including a sobriety test. The only thing he doesn't fail at is making an ass of himself. 

So yesterday he puts on his Hello Kitty backpack, jumps on his skateboard and heads to a place where he could make himself the center of attention. He's the essential opportunist. Rather than do any hard work, he just finds ways for others to do the work for him. He gives Tom Sawyer a bad name, like when he married a rich lady so he doesn't have to get a real job. Hell, it worked for John Kerry. 

But it begs the question, why didn't I think of that? Then there's our president who couldn't read a room if it was a book called A Room. That's an improvement. 

Amidst a countrywide crime wave, what's he do? He craps on every cop. He pushes the police reform bill because it happened to be the two-year anniversary of George Floyd's death. 

Joe Biden MSNBC Taiwan G

ABC’s "Good Morning America" and "World News Tonight," CBS’ "CBS Mornings" and "Evening News," and NBC’s "Today" and "Nightly News" all ignored then-Vice President Biden’s meeting with Eric Schwerin. (AP Photo/Andrew Harnik) (AP Photo/Andrew Harnik))

Yes, he exploited the calendar for political symbolism while people and kids included continue to be killed in cities like Chicago and Philly. You might call him tone deaf, but he wouldn't hear you. 

The media and the Dems don't give a **** about crime because they might have to blame themselves. 

GREG GUTFELD: BIDEN TAKES EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO DIVIDE AMERICA

Instead, Joe signs an executive order that targets policing as America once again preps for a violent summer. All because he couldn't let an anniversary go to waste. And yet he says nothing about the aftereffects of Floyd, meaning the rioting. 

It's like commemorating the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, but not mentioning the destruction it did after. It had to be about cops. And because Joe's got almost no working memory left, he assumed you do, too, by falsely claiming that Republicans opposed any reform on policing. He's either lying intentionally or he refuses to take his Prevagen. 

PRESIDENT BIDEN: The House passed a strong bill. It failed in the Senate, where our Republican colleagues opposed any meaningful reform. 

That is, of course ****. Four Democrats filibustered police reforms proposed by Senator Tim Scott, a Black Republican, or as liberals might call him, a White supremacist. 

SEN. TIM SCOTT: In 2015, after the shooting of Walter Scott, I wrote a bill to fund body cameras. Last year after the deaths of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd. I built an even bigger police reform proposal, but my Democratic colleagues blocked it. I extended an olive branch. I offered amendments, but Democrats used a filibuster to block the debate from even happening. 

Sen. Tim Scott questions Chris Magnus

Sen. Tim Scott, R-S.C., questions Chris Magnus as he appears before a Senate Finance Committee hearing Rod Lamkey/Pool via REUTERS (Rod Lamkey/Pool via REUTERS)

Now, imagine if they had listened to Scott. Life might have been better by now. We might have unified a country with low crime and high spirits. But they didn't want that. They didn't because they didn't want Republicans to lead the way. 

The Dems are like the really drunk guy at the party who insists he doesn't need a ride home from you to get home and of course ends up crashing. It's how they work. It's not about a solution. It's making sure the Republicans have no part in it. 

So they'll take your misery over any reform. Right, Joe? 

STAFFER IMITATING BIDEN: We needed to reform, reform not deform and no the the squad girl said to defund. We're not going to defund. We're going to refund you. I'm going to give you a refund. A reset, a redo. The dee doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. Hey knock it off.

Of course the reason why Biden did this executive order is due to a narrative that's already come apart at the seams, like one of Stelter's sofa cushions. 

We were told by Dems in the media that police were overwhelmingly targeting unarmed Black males when actually it was the criminals they let out who were doing most of the targeting. And data shows police were less likely to use lethal force against Black than White suspects. 

Of course, the professor behind the study was canceled faster than Chris Wallace’s corporate credit card. I can't help it. I'm a jerk.

That's not to say cops were in the right all the time and what happened to Floyd wasn't seriously wrong. But when you look at the billions in damages and lives lost over this misconception, it's beyond belief that anyone could think pushing this line was worth it. 

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Well, except for the Democrat Party who saw an election in their grasp. And now what do we have?

Well, violent crimes have increased anywhere from 5 to 40% in some of America's biggest cities, compared to the same time frame in 2021. 

And it's this murder surge that disproportionately affects Black victims. Meanwhile, former President Barack Obama attempts to link this week's mass shooting in Texas to George Floyd's murder. But the two are as unrelated as Woody Allen and Ronan Farrow. Yeah. That's a good one.

How does making that connection help? It doesn't. How does that lead to unity? It doesn't. It's political symbolism. And let's face it, the Dems are really good at it. You could say they invented it. You could also say it's the only thing they could invent. They suck at everything else, especially uniting a country.