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For some of us, flirting comes naturally, but for others, it’s a learned art to be mastered like nailing an impressive field goal or making a difficult three-point shooter in the big leagues. OK, maybe not that much skill. But if you’re looking to attract the opposite sex, knowing the right way to flirt can mean the difference between creeping out that special someone and actually landing a date with him or her.
Fox News talked to some professional matchmakers to learn the best tips men and women can use to help flirt like a pro — without coming off as desperate, weird or foolish.
Here’s your ultimate guide to flirting:
Dress your best
If you’re meeting your date for coffee, keep your ensemble casual, but if it’s a night out on the town, get out those heels or pop that collar. “Wear something that shows that you are putting effort in,” Stef Safran, a matchmaking and dating expert in Chicago, told Fox News.
Offer physical touch
If the attraction is mutual and confirmed as consensual, gently touch the person’s arm, elbow, or, if they’re sitting down, their leg. “This adds a sexual layer to the flirting mechanism without being overly forward,” New York-based dating coach Cher Hubsher, who’s known as “The NYC Wingwoman,” told Fox News. “Just remember not to keep your hand there; rather, just use light touch when laughing or making fun comments.”
Flaunt your features
Show off your most attractive assets by choosing your attire carefully. “If you are a man who loves his chest, wear a fitted shirt,” Hubsher said. “If you are a woman who believes her best features are her lips, wear nice red lipstick. Or, if you believe it is your hair, wear it down and let it flow!” Making that choice can help make you look and feel more confident, Hubsher noted.
Say ‘good morning’
The early bird gets the worm, right? Once you have your guy or gal’s number, Femi Ogunjinmi, a relationship coach and host of the “Gfem Talk Show,” said an early text message can set the proper mood for the rest of the day. “You can have him/her thinking of you on the way to work by texting just these words: ‘I can't describe how good I feel right now, I slept with you on my mind,’” he told Fox News.
Make eye contact
Eye contact signals openness and interest for continuing the conversation. “Nothing can close a conversation faster than feeling like someone can't talk back to you and can't look you in the eye,” lifestyle blogger Amanda Maxwell told Fox News.
Manage your body language
“Keep your arms open, leave your palms upturned, lean in, [and] shrug your shoulders — these all put off that you are open to their flirting,” Safran said. Also, be sure to smile. People who smile often are recognized as more approachable and fun to be around.
Listen and ask questions
Keep the conversation flowing by alternating between listening and asking questions. “Asking questions shows you are paying attention and also intrigued — this will make the person feel understood, which is a great way to start any relationship,” Hubsher said. Just make sure you don’t sound like you’re interrogating the other person.
Be yourself and exude confidence!
This step may seem easier said than done, but confidence is one of the most attractive features on another person. “Confidence can shine so bright if you are truly comfortable with who you are,” said Maxwell, who met her boyfriend after boldly approaching him at a party and asking coyly if they had met before.