Greg Gutfeld: Mickey Mouse is up for grabs, so now he’s going to stab
'Gutfeld!' panelists react to a Mickey House horror film.
My, how the mighty Mouse has fallen. (No, not Mighty Mouse, he’s still under copyright.) I mean the all-powerful Mickey. In the latest embarrassment to the post-apocalyptic version of Walt Disney’s empire, the copyright finally expired for the signature mouse.
Almost immediately, two horror films were announced, patterned after the original Mickey character that appeared in the 1928 cartoon "Steamboat Willie." Disney had battled for years to extend copyright protections, but Mickey turned 95 and was set free.
It’s interesting that Mickey turning into a horror character is getting so much attention. Parents and fans can tell you that Disney has been making horror and horrible movies for some time. Instead of attacking random people, the famous mouse should have been depicted as humiliating company executives. That’s a movie we’d all like to see.
The Mickey fiasco is a metaphor for everything going wrong in the House of Mouse. (iStock)
It might even make money, something Disney has been struggling with of late. Ever since the company went ridiculously woke. (I know, liberals get upset because conservatives use their word so much the left abandoned it.)
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The Mickey fiasco is a metaphor for everything going wrong in the House of Mouse. Just in the past year it got embroiled in a battle with Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, promoted transgenderism at its allegedly family-friendly parks, saw the failure of big-name, ever-woke films and laid off 7,000 employees after its streaming service Disney+ lost 2.4-million subscribers.
Disney’s live-action remake of the beloved "Snow White" turned into an epic fail. Star Rachel Zegler talked about making the story more "modern," adding, "I just mean that it's no longer 1937." Zegler, who clearly dislikes the original, continued, "She's not going to be saved by the prince and she's not going to be dreaming about true love." Because that’s what fans of the actual story won’t pay to see.
This is the same "Snow White" movie that is enduring reshoots after photos of the seven dwarves surfaced where the dwarves were converted into multi-racial "magical creatures," mostly of normal size. If "Mystery Science Theater 3000" was still going strong, it would be lining up to mock this film.
MST3K might be gone, but its spirit lives. The peak of Disney’s 2023 collapse was getting mocked by the children of "South Park." The episode was called, "Joining the Panderverse," and described a nightmare version of Disney, which is basically our real version. Character Eric Cartman exclaimed: "They were taking all my favorite people and replacing them with diverse women complaining about the patriarchy!"
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From his mouth to the mouse’s ears. The new Disney commitment to "Star Wars" reads like the "South Park" script. Two-time Oscar winner Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy is taking the helm for a new "Star Wars" picture and has already offended her core audience before filming begins.
Award-winning director and journalist Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy spoke on a CNN interview about how the time has come for a woman to shape the story of the Star Wars universe. (CNN)
She proclaimed "it's about time" a woman shaped the galaxy far, far away, which no one other than activists cares about. They want a watchable movie. But she really got Disney at odds with the force when comments came out that she made during a panel with actress Meryl Streep and comedian Jon Stewart. Obaid-Chinoy told the crowd, "I like to make men uncomfortable. I enjoy making men uncomfortable."
Men, she must have forgotten, are part of the core "Star Wars" audience. Or were.
Disney is also caught in an activist battle for corporate board seats, largely because the company is doing so badly that it resembles the planet Alderaan, after the Death Star came calling. Disney stock is less than half what it was in March 2021. And the company was no longer the No. 1 movie studio in 2023.
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Bob Iger attends the "Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny" red carpet during the 76th annual Cannes Film Festival on May 18, 2023 in Cannes, France. (Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images)
This isn’t what returning Disney CEO Bob Iger wanted. He reportedly told investors that his primary goal was to "quiet the noise" in the culture war. It’s only a few months later and the sound you hear is the loud squeal of a mouse caught in a trap.
Only Big Cheese Iger and Disney investors are trapped with Mickey.
The "Star Wars'' disaster makes it clear that Iger isn’t in charge. Woke staffers are the ones running things, like Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy. "South Park" made particular sport of her leftist agenda wrecking the prized intellectual property that once made Disney rich.
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Instead of learning from her mistakes, she continues the Mickey Mouse operation, driving away fans and investors. With 2024 just beginning, look for Kennedy and her comrades to cheese off fans even more.
As the Disney song used to proclaim, "it’s a small world, after all." And Disney’s piece of it is getting smaller.