Gutfeld: The lies keep coming
'Gutfeld!' panelists react to former special counsel Robert Hur's Capitol Hill testimony in President Biden’s documents probe.
So you remember the January 6 Committee, the worst convening of fact finders since the O.J. jury? Trump would have got a fairer hearing in Tehran wearing a gay pride shirt.
One of the stars of those hearings was Cassidy Hutchinson — she's the congressional aide who gave the committee flip-flopping, third-person testimony that Trump attempted to choke out a Secret Service agent in the presidential limo in order to drive himself to the Capitol to join the January 6 riot.
This, despite there being a glass barrier between the front and back seats. As absurd as it was, the committee stamped her story as fact, and the media pushed it like Jesse does with his s***** books. Now comes a GOP House report that has the limo driver disputing all of this.
So, like Adam Schiff getting laid in college, the lunge never happened. Three other actual witnesses concurred, but the committee ignored that testimony like a Biden grandchild.
SCHIFF SPARS WITH HUR IN HEATED EXCHANGE OVER REPORT THAT 'DISPARAGED' BIDEN: 'THAT DID NOT HAPPEN'
TYRUS: Damn.
I know. The House report also confirms that, unlike what the committee reported and the media swore to, Trump did indeed offer 10,000 National Guard troops for security that day — more testimony the committee buried, and so they hid exculpatory evidence that proved Trump was trying to prevent riots.
So this committee missed the mark more often than Joe Biden trying to hit the urinal on Air Force One. But in this case, it was deliberate.
Oh, then there's this: When the current House of Reps went looking for the transcripts from the committee hearings, the committee seems to have misplaced many of the records. Maybe they're still in Joe's garage. Who knows? We're not required to keep certain materials, says committee Chairman Bennie Thompson.
Well, actually, Bennie, you are. Trump is facing federal charges as part of your committee's findings. So those interviews are what we would call evidence. I guess you would label it "burn after reading." No wonder Kinzinger was crying — it must have been from all that smoke.
And so the lies kept coming, and as usual, they only go one way to protect one guy while damming another. Recall daddy saying, "Hunter never made any money from China." That was enough hogwash to clean the cast of "The View."
Turns out that was about as accurate as the president's crime and inflation numbers. I'd say Joe is bad at math, but so far he's pretty good at division. Yeah, thoughtful. I'll take some.
Now we're being told Joe never apologized for calling the accused killer of Laken Riley illegal. But guys, it's on tape. Please remember something: We're not the ones who mistake our wives for our sisters.
And so the Hur hearing in Congress yesterday proudly continued the Dem tradition. Here's an exchange with Democratic Rep. Madeleine Dean.
REP. MADELEINE DEAN: I want to give you a chance, since the transcript is out, to correct the record on an important point. Very sadly, your report on page 208 says that Mr. Biden couldn't come up with the date, the year, of his son Beau Biden's death, when in fact in the transcript, it shows that you asked him the month, and do you know what he said, Mr. Hur? He said, "Oh, God, May 30." Would you like to correct the record? His memory was pretty firm on the month and the day.
ROBERT HUR: Congresswoman, I don't believe that's correct with respect to the transcript, but if you could refer me to a specific page, I'd be happy to.
DEAN: I've read about it in reporting.
Liar! Now like I said, she's not making a mistake. She's just full of s*** up to her eyelids. She says Hur asked him about Beau Biden's death, but as the transcript from Hur's interview with Biden shows, it wasn't Hur who brought it up first — it was Joe.
So Dean clearly hadn't read the transcript like she claimed. She lied. Then there's this jackass insisting that Hur's report exonerated Biden.
REP. PRAMILA JAYAPAL: So this lengthy, expensive and independent investigation resulted in a complete exoneration of President Joe Biden.
HUR: I need to go back and make sure that I take note of the word that you used — "exoneration," that is…
JAYAPAL: Mr. Hur, I'm going to continue with my questions… I know that the term… you exonerated him. I know that the term willful retention has a… Mr. Hur, it's my time.
Hahaha — let me lie. So I gather that if you keep repeating the lie, then it works. OK then, I'm 5'7", I'm 5'7", I'm 5'7".
TYRUS: I'm 125 lbs.
But this lie is to easy to disprove. Dems claim Hur said there was insufficient evidence to charge Biden. No, the criminal act was proven. He was just too mentally gone for the jury not to see anything but a feeble old man.
He was guilty of two things, really: violating the law and the 25th Amendment, but they don't care because they count on the media to back their lies, and they assume the public's too stupid to question it.
CBS: It is notable, though, that Hur wrote that Biden could not remember when his son Beau died. That's just not true. The president correctly stated the date May 30, but struggled to name the year.
CNN: He remembered the day and the month. He was just sort of speaking out loud, saying, "What year was that?" And I was, I mean, in a much more conversational way as opposed to sort of really stumbling over what year it was.
MSNBC: I think he hopes he gets a judgeship if Donald Trump gets elected again. He's trying out because he humiliated himself with that display.
The only way that guy could be a bigger idiot would be to gain weight.
So once again, it's more lying where the lies only go in one direction, and therefore it's acceptable with no fact-checking necessary, and that direction is always what makes Trump look like a cross between Lex Luther and a creamsicle. Like Andrea Mitchell's forehead, it started out small.
Trump removed a statue of MLK from the Oval Office — well, actually, it was behind a door. Then came the Charlottesville hoax, where they smeared Trump as a Nazi, even though, you know, he didn't go to Harvard. The lies culminated on January 6, where protest peacefully became inciting the overthrow of the government by a bunch of elderly tourists with no weapons.
Their ridiculous lies are like college. Four years later, you realize you've been had. Hunter's laptop with his own photos and corroborated by his own associates is Russian disinfo. The pee-pee tape hoax claimed Russian hookers peed on Trump, but they couldn't find any Russian hookers that peed on Trump.
You know, it's pretty easy to pay a hooker to say they peed on someone. Just today I found 19 that say they peed on Kilmeade. And at least 10 of them were lying. So keep making it up as you go, Dems, and media — keep carrying their water, because unlike Joe Biden, we have a memory.
